Tag Archives: courage

These Walls by Teddy Geiger

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We all have those days when we are feeling hopeless and confused. When the world seems to be falling around us. But we have to remember that we are not alone. We don’t need to fear, we need to have faith. Faith in ourselves that we can overcome any difficulties. After all, we’ve seen it done before.

Lyrics:

I can’t believe what is in front of me
The water’s rising up to my knees
And I can’t figure out
How the hell I wound up here
Everything seemed okay when I started out the other day
Then the rain came pouring down
And now I’m drowning in my fears
And as I watch the setting sun
I wonder if I’m the only one

[Chorus:]
‘Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line
And everybody feels a broken heart sometimes
And even when I’m scared I have to try to fly
Sometimes I fall
But I’ve seen it done before
I got to step outside these walls

I’ve got no master plan to help me out
Or make me stand up for
All the things that I really want
You had me to afraid to ask
And as I look ahead of me
Cry and pray for sanity

[Chorus]

These walls can’t be my haven
These walls can’t keep me safe here
Now i guess I’ve got to let them down

[Chorus]

I got to break out…
I got to break out…
I got to step outside these walls
There’s love outside these walls
I’ve felt my heart break
But its a brand new day
And I’m not going down
‘Cause I’m stepping out
I’m stepping outside
These walls

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Solving a Co-Addiction Relationship

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Being single and sober, especially in early recovery, is suggested by most healthcare professionals and members of Anonymous groups. But sometimes people have been with their significant other for a long time, its hard to let them go, even if its for their own good. When co-addiction is present in a relationship you may find yourself in a mental prison, not knowing what to do. Here is an article from AddictionBlog.com on what you can do.” -Love, Robyn

relationships

Do You Have The Courage?

Most people want out of an abusive situation but somehow cannot muster up the courage. They do not believe they have the self-efficacy to do it. But recovery from co-addiction starts with the first step.

I woke up one morning with a urinary tract infection and my lower back was in excruciating pain. I was sick—physically. I went to look for my doctor’s number on my husband’s phone because mine was dead. I found a text from a guy I knew dealt drugs. My daughter woke up with a stomach ache. The walls were closing in.

  • How could I take care of everyone if I couldn’t take care of myself?
  • Why was this happening to me?
  • What did I do to deserve this?
  • I was trying so hard to help my husband stay clean, and everything that could go wrong, did?

This was my old thought process.

Negative behavior patterns seem harmless. Some people attribute the negativity in their lives to circumstance. They believe their lives are not what they want because of the situation they are in, the person they are in a relationship with, or the job they cannot leave. I used to look at people I admired and thought, “How did they get to where they are?” I felt like a log, drifting down a river just bumping into things along the way. I had no control over my life. I noticed myself complaining to my friends and family about how life was unfair and asking them why I had to go through this when all I ever did was try to help everyone.

This is where co-addiction may take on characteristics martyrdom. A martyr helps everyone else but suffers for it.

Disaster Mode

I have a friend who cannot get out of her own way. When I look at her, I see a person who has two beautiful children, a loving husband, secure finances, lots of help from wonderful parents. When I speak with her, she is always trying a “new diet” to lose weight, she is buying a new product to fill a void, she is stressed, overweight, and complaining about her child. There is always some disaster happening in her life.

Sometimes, I get caught in it. I notice myself feeling negative. I can easily get sucked into the “poor me” role when I talk with her. I noticed the times when I am most happy and successful are when I am “doing” and taking positive steps in the direction of my goals and not talking about them. It is the times between complaining that things start to happen.

Opportunity Is Knocking

If you really want something, you can have it. If you really want out of a situation that is hopeless, if you want it enough, you can find a way out. You will be amazed how opportunities open up when you are open to them. When you set your mind to a goal you can turn complacency into action, by suppressing the thought of why things are not going your way.

No person can have a hold over you, only you can hold yourself back. You can turn your role in co-addiction into role model. When an addict realizes that they no longer have power over you, they will move on and so will you. When you can turn sorrow into joy, pain into gratitude, misery into appreciation for life, and fear into self-confidence, you can make great strides.

You can read hundreds of self-help books and wait for them to give you the recipe for change. The truth of it is, most of us do not take action. We wait for things to change. Nothing gets done unless there is ACTION. The most important thing in stepping out of an ugly situation is the first step. Every situation is unique and inside all of us, we know things we could do to change our lives, we just have to have the guts to do them. Your role model is no different than you. The only difference is they took action. Remember one action can change your whole life.

Just Be Happy

Abraham Lincoln once said, “People are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” It took me a long time to truly appreciate what that meant. I found I could not change those around me but I could change myself.

I woke up one day; and day after day, after day, made one small change that would take me in the direction I wanted to go. I let go of my role as the wife of a person with a rainbow of addictions. I could no longer attempt to change him so I started to change myself instead.

I made a startling observation. The people around me who were happy and comfortable in their own skin weren’t asking other people why their life was not what they hoped. They were not complaining all of the time. They were successful in their own right. Even more startling, was that they were not always talking about it! Although they faced obstacles like everyone else, they were not focused on what was wrong or looking for empathy.

A short time ago, I sat in a place where my life seemed hopeless. I did not wake up one day and change it, but I did wake up one day and change something, and in time, something in me changed.

Where We Belong by Passion Pit

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This is another one of those songs you might just want to bob your head to. It is also very thought-provoking, asking questions I’ve found myself asking frequently in recovery. Does God exist? According to Passion Pit, you got to believe. Also note the other great lines such as ‘cowards never say ‘enough is enough,” and ‘all the things you can’t control should never destroy your love or hopes.’

Lyrics:

It’s gotten cold in here,
But a solemn warmth draws near
And with a gentle touch,
All these burdens and such fears are wiped clear

Who says you are to stay?
How’s this the easier way?
It’s far from giving up,
Cowards never say “enough is enough”

And then I’m lifted up,
Out of the crimson towel
The bath begins to drain
And from the floor he prays away all my pain

Who says that God exists?
We can’t see icons or myths, but
I believe in you,
Do you believe in me too?
Gabrielle

All the things you can’t control
Should never destroy your love or hopes
I found a place, I found a place,
I found a place where we belong

Never did I think that I’d believe they took away his crown
Never did I ever think I’d find all of the things I’ve found
It’s hard to keep on living where your heart is but I knew you’d help
All I’ve ever wanted was to be happy and make you proud

Find Your Drive with MET

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“One of my earlier post talked about how important it is to have motivation. But I was mainly referring to lifestyle choices such as diet and exercise. I failed to mention its importance in recovery from addiction! This is a great article that outlines an actual therapy to help boost your mental and emotional strength called Motivation Enhancement Therapy or MET. The goal is to hit a breakthrough, a kind of enlightenment, that will enhance your drive for a life of sobriety. As they say, ‘the 12 steps doesn’t work for everybody,’ because you need that motivation to even show up at a meeting!” -Best of luck, Robyn

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Motivational Enhancement Therapy(MET), according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, “is a counseling approach that helps individuals resolve their ambivalence about engaging in treatment and stopping their drug use.”

It is a method offering more to the substance abuser than simply the traditional 12-step programs of Alcoholics or Narcotics Anonymous (AA, NA).  “This approach aims to evoke rapid and internally motivated change, rather than guide the patient stepwise through the recovery process.”

MET is based on principles of Motivational Interviewing (an approach developed by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick, clinical psychologists treating problem drinkers).  It elicits self-motivational statements in early discussion sessions. This is done to “build a plan for change” based on the patient’s observable commitment and verbal expressions of some level of movement toward healingsurrounding the problem.

This therapeutic approach specifically engages the patient in the process of putting a plan forward based on person-centeredmotivations, as opposed to societal. ((As such, it evokes the work of educator John Dewey and psychologist Carl Rogers.)) In uniquely notreiterating the 12-step approach, it can appeal to those having problems following a rote program that does not fully speak to them.

After all, the 12-step approach doesn’t work for everyone.

Developing problem-solving and interpersonal skills is a core component of the therapy. Often, this is introduced early on, in order to initially get past the denial of any substance abuse problem. In a sense, the therapist is guiding the patient to see for himself that there is a problem — all based on discovering what motivates the individual to live life as he or she is currently.

Enlightenment can only occur if an individual wants to learn (John Dewey), and MET is centered around this insight.  Once initial resistance has been countered — by reflecting back the patient’s own statements about desiring better outcomes — learning can really take off.  An introduction of behavioral techniques can be nicely mixed in to support the patient’s ability to better fend for himself when tempted by chemical or old, bad habitual patterns.

Therapists using this approach will often encourage partners and family to attend some sessions as well. This is to support the patient’s thinking and behavioral process changes, as well as to learn techniques for themselves. ((Those techniques could be to draw out the patient’s experience and feelings, or to find coping mechanisms as an addict’s or alcoholic’s family member, based on the MET approach.))

MET often is used in conjunction with other cognitive behavioralapproaches to problems; indeed its application can be much further-reaching than simply for substance abuse. It also has points of connectedness with dialectical behavior therapy-based approaches — utilizing principles akin to mindfulness and distress tolerance in session explorations.

Motivational Enhancement Therapy could go a long way toward offering new insights to those affected by the varied symptomatology of many mental illnesses, as well as interpersonal and professional human relations. Its applications are beginning to be far-reaching, as a simple search online will prove, with its healing offered toward everything from anxiety and depression to breathing problems connected to needed lifestyle change.

Source: http://www.psychcentral.com

The Fight by Sia

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Sia is a strong vocalist and extremely unique. Undoubtably, her voice reflects off her lyrics too. This song is about strength, love and hope. Its so uplifting and upbeat. The lyrics are below:

We are born, we are born (repeated multiple times)

We are born
Without a care
As we grow old
Become aware

As we grow tall
Begin to falter
We want to know ourselves
Give love to all

But we falter, yes, we are human
Yes, we anger, we feed the hunger
Yes, we push through, just me and you

We made it through the darkness to the light
Oh, how we fought yet still we won the fight
Oh, yes, we stand together

A fantasy for you and me
Though beauty lies in reality
No need to fear, the truth sets us free
We’re all looking for love and harmony

But we falter and yes, we are flawed
As we play victim with such conviction
And we play bully, both you and me

We made it through the darkness to the light
Oh, how we fought yet still we won the fight
Oh, yes, we stand together

Took it day by day, worried we would fail
How we flailed and we wailed and we screamed in pain
Take it step by step, we could not forget
The wounds we felt, how we screamed for help

And the dark, dark nights when you held me tight
And we’d wait for light to rescue us
Oh, we were distressed, now we’re nothing less
We are strong, we are blessed, we are united, yeah

We made it through the darkness to the light
Oh, how we fought yet still we won the fight
Oh, yes, we stand together

We made it through the darkness to the light
Oh, how we fought yet still we won the fight
Oh, yes, we stand together